By Dave Juliano
Ok, so youíve done a little research. You have read a little, asked a few questions and you are pretty sure that you are dealing with a human spirit that apparently has taken up residence with you or you with it. So now what do you do? Sell the house? Call an exorcist? Have a séance? Buy an Ouija board? The answer isÖnone of the above. In the vast majority of cases, there is no reason to do anything but take a deep breath and relax. Many people are not bothered at all by spirits in their homes because they can accept them for what they are and they realize that there is nothing to fear. This accounts for about thirty percent of the cases I come in contact with. For the other seventy percent of you I would like to offer some advice, tips and suggestions so that you can feel more comfortable with your situation.
What many people experience when event start to occur in their homes is fear. Fear of ghosts, fear that you are imagining things and losing your mind, etc. Fear is a natural instinct that is intended to warn you when imminent danger is close but it also manifests itself when the mind is faced with an unknown or unexplainable situation. Letís deal with the people who are afraid of ghosts first.
First off don't be scared, I know that sounds funny and I would have laughed at someone who told me that 15 years ago when I was in the middle of my own haunting, but it's true. You have a human spirit that is living there with you or just passing through, they are harmless, a bit unnerving and scary at times, but that is not what they are trying to be. They are simply letting you know, since someone can see the things it does, that it is in the house. It is it's only way of communicating with us. It may be lost or stuck here and has not passed properly to the other side or it may be here visiting a place it loved in life. Either way the events you are experiencing are not dangerous and will not be harmful in any way.
Having said that, is there anything in particular that the spirit is doing that is bothering you? If so, try telling it. Yes, I mean speaking out loud to something you arenít necessarily seeing at the time. Spirits often respond very well to this if you are calm, firm and respectful. Donít yell, curse at or antagonized the spirit. They are still a human consciousness and they have the same emotions, moods and attitudes they did in life. Yelling may upset or anger the spirit and then they will not stop what you have asked them to. In fact they may do a bit more. Speak to them just like you are talking to a friend and explain what your problem is and ask if they could stop. Remain positive and avoid negativity and fear as much as possible. Negativity and fear can cause more problems for you in the long run.
Can you get the spirits to leave? Only if it decides to go. A human spirit has the free will to decide when and where it will go. Keep in mind the spirit may not realize it is dead or may be afraid of leaving so they will not go just because you want them to. In these cases you need to employ psychology to help the spirit move along but there is still no guarantee that the spirit will leave. No one can make a human spirit leave if it does not want to. You local ghost research group often has sensitives that can help understand why the spirit is there and that can often help in getting the spirit to move on. Iíll get to picking a group to help you in a moment.
Some of you may just be afraid that you mind may not be what it used to be and that you are imagining things. If you are the only person in the house that is experiencing anything donít worry, that is not uncommon at all. With one or two exceptions over 26 years, I was the only one who was affected in my childhood home. What I always recommend to people who just want some validation of their claims for their own peace of mind is to contact their local ghost research group or ghost hunters group. These groups can assist you in getting unbiased evidence and evaluating you situation. They can also educate you on living with ghosts.
So, now your looking for a group to assist you with whatever your situation may be. There are numerous groups out there. How do you pick one? To find local groups you can do a search on the net for your area. I maintain one of the largest and most frequently updated listings in a state-by-state format http://theshadowlands.net/ghost/groups.htm. Are there a lot of groups that are just starting out, are just clubs or have little experience? Yes, but there are just as many groups that have lots of experience. Experience can also be personal experience. A person who has lived in a haunted home knows things a person who just studies them does not. Remember that you are going to be letting these people into your home so you want to be sure you feel comfortable with their procedures, experience and their members. Review their website to see what they have done in the past, the groups theories and other biographical information. Talk to the groupís leadership on the phone or in person prior to agreeing to retain their services. Ask them for references. Ask them if they have case experience with situations similar to yours. Ask them about their investigation procedures, their equipment and how they will report their findings to you. Ask everything and anything you want until you feel comfortable with them.
Most groups do not charge for their services. Some do ask for donations or fees to cover the cost of travel and equipment materials such as film, tapes and processing. If a group wants to charge you a high fee or they cannot justify the expense fee they charge, then move on to the next group. Use simple common sense so you donít get taken to the cleaners by unscrupulous researchers who are taking advantage of your fears. The group I belong to, South Jersey Ghost Research started a trend a couple years ago by going non-profit and applying for that status officially with the IRS. Many groups are now following this example and this can give you yet another sense of security about the group you are choosing. This enables groups to get funds for necessities without having to deal with monetary issues with their clients.
Once you have done all you can do with your situation and you still feel uneasy, curious or afraid then you should try reaching out to people who understand and care about you and your situation. These people can help and as long as you are careful whom you choose to assist you, you should get some sort of resolution to your problem.